Managing your career also means knowing how to manage your personal life. Generally, we think about balancing work and home but when the time comes to make a decision about a new job we have a tendency to forget the person who will support us through the transition and help us to reach our goals. Restructured families and shared custody are common in the life of executives these days and sometimes a real puzzle everyday. Some people even use sophisticated software to manage the unmanageable…Yet when the position that you have wanted for so long appears on the horizon and a decision must be made, your partner’s (or ex-partner’s) assistance becomes essential to making the right decision. All experts on expatriate management will say the same thing: ensuring the partner’s support in the professional decision to go abroad for example is a mandatory condition for the success or failure of the project. They would say the same for a transfer or a simple change of job or a promotion.
In short, with each change we should ensure that our “better half” will support and help us during the process. How many executives have I known, who after enduring the long selection process and have the offer in hand, then refuse because it doesn’t suit their family plan? The location is no longer suitable (no need to transfer to Timbuktu, the new employer can be located on the South Shore or in the West Island), changing to a new company in the same region can put organization at home back into question and suddenly pose a problem. Will new responsibilities require more of your time? The position is ideal but is the salary lower? Will traveling be more of an issue? Are social benefits not as generous? Has your partner decided to change jobs at the same time as you?
Recently, a company manager told me that after several months of seeking a Head of Financial Management, concerning around ten interviews carried out with various members of management, not to mention the day of psychometric tests and the costs involved in finding the rare gem, he finally made an offer. Unfortunately for him, the candidate declined after consulting his wife. Any good head hunter will tell you that the partner is often an essential factor to the success or failure of a transaction. I often find myself speaking to the partner to reassure, to explain and to judge the candidate’s personal situation. The question does not apply uniquely to executives, it is even an essential step for professionals at the first level. How do you deal with the situation?
For the individual, certain steps are essential (and often neglected) and the same goes for organizations. What are they?
- Ensuring the partner or ex-partner’s support (where there are children involved). Discuss the career plan before accepting the candidate. Any change in jobs will impact the family, whether it is because of new responsibilities (more work therefore less time at home…), a new geographic posting, relocation or even a job which requires more travel. It is vital that the partner is aware before even beginning the change process for the other’s new job.
- Evaluate the partner’s career. It is not rare these days to see couples managing two careers parallel. Succeeding in managing both in harmony often implies managing alternately. While one goes back to studying to get a degree and open moor doors to promotion, the other supports the family or the couple and vice-versa. To do it simultaneously is risky. How many executives have I heard tell me that without the support of their partner they would never have reached the level they desired? There is always however “returning the favour.”
- Take into account the partner’s personality. Does your new job or your new employer hold the same values as your partner? Although the question seems odd it doesn’t make it any less relevant. In certain positions requiring an element of representation, the style and personality of your partner can either help you or ruin you. Some executives and professionals whose job requires them to attend professional events in a couple must ensure that their partner knows how to support and represent them. Galas, cocktails, dinners and other social activities involve a partner’s collaboration. Rare are those who can confront these type of events alone without finding a “substitute partner” to create a good impression. When a partner is too out of sync, the couple must be even more solid.
Of course it is difficult for the company to ask to meet a candidate or an employee’s partner. The Charter of Rights and Freedoms technically prevents any employer from finding out about personal or family situations but the “partner factor” still remains a vital unknown solution to the equation…